Ann Onimou
My husband thinks it's creepy to share a bed with your child or sibling (or to share food or drink with them for that matter - like sharing a yogurt and spoon with our 1 year old) if you are camping or in a hotel/motel even if there aren't enough beds for everyone to have their own.
I think this is because he was a single child of fairly staunch British parents who were (and still are) a bit prudish and having no siblings, never had to 'fight for a bed' (two doubles in a hotel with 4 people means siblings or parents sharing for example). He also has no other family (cousins, etc).
In my family (me, parents, younger brother), we even shared the bathroom (in fact, there was only a curtain as a door until I was 12) lol. Last month, when we went on vacation together (me, mom, brother, husband and our 1 year old daughter), there were only 2 double beds and a fold out couch. My husband and I are fat (well, we are) so we can't share a double without fighting (seriously) so my husband said he'd take the foldout. That left me, mom and brother and 2 double beds. Brother thought it was weird to sleep with mom and she was afraid to get whacked anyway (she'd just had surgery and was still very sore) so brother and I shared. Husband thought this was super gross but brother and I didn't.
Husband and I are talking about buying a used camper. I said 2 double beds would be enough and he said we wouldn't fit and when I suggested that either we each share with a child or the two children share (the children being any age from 0 to 20 potentially), he was horrified. 'You can't do that!', he insisted.
What do you think? I think you should have a bathroom door but sharing a bed with or eating the rest of your child's sandwich (that they've been eating) isn't that big of a deal.
Thanks!
In case it matters, my brother is 28 and I'm 32.
To cathrl69: Yes, I'm just as fat but my brother is fairly thin thus he takes less room and I have more room and there is no need for either of us to fight for space. As for the floor, the only one of us who could physically manage that would be my brother and he likes luxury too much for that.
To RedStar: My brother and I did not come into contact at all during the night (I was awake a lot due to our baby waking). Our personal space was not encroached at any time. I think he thought it was weird to sleep with our mom because he hasn't done that since he was a little boy and he and I have had to share a bed on occasion (at relatives who had limited space) over the last 10 years. You do have a point about it being ok for my brother to feel it was weird but not for my husband to feel that way. I guess it's just because my husband feels weird about every possibility. My husband and I bought a queen bed a few years ago because we were tired of fighting over bed space so it is different at home. My husband and I have tried sharing double hotel beds before and have discovered that it does not work. He may have thought it was weird but he was happy not to share with me lol.
Answer
In a pinch, it's normal. My dad was very much on the rule that every boy has his own bed (this didn't apply for girls though, and we had to share a hand-me-down Queen for a long time growing up.) I tend to believe every child has their own bed, but in a pinch (camping trip, hotel room, etc) then sharing isn't a big deal. There's some provisos though.
Like, my sister was fairly abusive towards me. So putting us in the same bed would result in me bruised and battered. It's not right to put two kids together who don't want to be in the same bed, one always ends up with nightmares from the other pinching, hitting, kicking, etc. After a while my parents would bring a sleeping bag and if she didn't want to share the bed with me she could sleep on the floor. This was much MUCH better on both of us. But it's something to keep in mind. If you have two who get along, that's great. But if you have two who don't, then you're putting one in an abusive situation even if you're keeping an eye on things, because they're going to be nervous. My mom still has nightmares of her sister making her stay on 'her side of the bed' and the danger she was in if she crossed the imaginary line even a mm.
And boy girl... yeah. I would have actually slept with my mom and let my brother sleep with my dad or alone. When possible I would separate genders. Not because anything sexual will happen but just because it does get a bit odd.
But like with a camper, shoot someone can always sleep in a tent outside if they don't want to share with mom/pop. And if they're the same gender then no big at all (I have nieces who had to share the same twin sized bed for years... that's a lot more closer quarters.) It's only temporary, so it's really not a biggie.
Add: Oh, the bathroom... what would he have done growing up like I did, one of 8, and 2 bathrooms and one was off limit because it was mom/dad's? :P 1 bathroom for 8 kids... what's the issue? We didn't all go in at once. You learned to go and get out really. I really don't understand a bathroom for every child... that seems very odd to me. But then again I don't understand a bedroom for every child either.
As for eating food... okay, if I'm eating something and my daughter wants some I will break off a piece that is not touching my mouth. I have cavities and I don't want to expose her to the bacteria that causes cavities. Same goes with straws and drinks. You can usually ask for a small cup and pour some in there, then you each got one, no extra cost. But if she wants to share something with me and she's eaten on it, I'll usually take a bite, but not much. Again, it's more concerns about cavities, disease, etc than anything else. Eating the rest of their sandwich wouldn't bother me though. My mom remembers taking us down for a hamburger and fries, cutting the burger in 4 pieces and giving my sister and I a quarter each while she ate the 1/2. I think that's a lot healthier than everyone gets their own, and eats more than they need, y'know?
In a pinch, it's normal. My dad was very much on the rule that every boy has his own bed (this didn't apply for girls though, and we had to share a hand-me-down Queen for a long time growing up.) I tend to believe every child has their own bed, but in a pinch (camping trip, hotel room, etc) then sharing isn't a big deal. There's some provisos though.
Like, my sister was fairly abusive towards me. So putting us in the same bed would result in me bruised and battered. It's not right to put two kids together who don't want to be in the same bed, one always ends up with nightmares from the other pinching, hitting, kicking, etc. After a while my parents would bring a sleeping bag and if she didn't want to share the bed with me she could sleep on the floor. This was much MUCH better on both of us. But it's something to keep in mind. If you have two who get along, that's great. But if you have two who don't, then you're putting one in an abusive situation even if you're keeping an eye on things, because they're going to be nervous. My mom still has nightmares of her sister making her stay on 'her side of the bed' and the danger she was in if she crossed the imaginary line even a mm.
And boy girl... yeah. I would have actually slept with my mom and let my brother sleep with my dad or alone. When possible I would separate genders. Not because anything sexual will happen but just because it does get a bit odd.
But like with a camper, shoot someone can always sleep in a tent outside if they don't want to share with mom/pop. And if they're the same gender then no big at all (I have nieces who had to share the same twin sized bed for years... that's a lot more closer quarters.) It's only temporary, so it's really not a biggie.
Add: Oh, the bathroom... what would he have done growing up like I did, one of 8, and 2 bathrooms and one was off limit because it was mom/dad's? :P 1 bathroom for 8 kids... what's the issue? We didn't all go in at once. You learned to go and get out really. I really don't understand a bathroom for every child... that seems very odd to me. But then again I don't understand a bedroom for every child either.
As for eating food... okay, if I'm eating something and my daughter wants some I will break off a piece that is not touching my mouth. I have cavities and I don't want to expose her to the bacteria that causes cavities. Same goes with straws and drinks. You can usually ask for a small cup and pour some in there, then you each got one, no extra cost. But if she wants to share something with me and she's eaten on it, I'll usually take a bite, but not much. Again, it's more concerns about cavities, disease, etc than anything else. Eating the rest of their sandwich wouldn't bother me though. My mom remembers taking us down for a hamburger and fries, cutting the burger in 4 pieces and giving my sister and I a quarter each while she ate the 1/2. I think that's a lot healthier than everyone gets their own, and eats more than they need, y'know?
What type of bed should I buy for my son?
momto2boyz
He is 5 1/2 years old (tall and heavy for his age)
His room is 8ft x 10ft
He is afraid of heights, but has friends that could sleep over and use the top bunk if we decide on a bunk bed.
Any advice?
(his box spring just broke)
:(
Answer
A bunk bed would be nice depending on how well it is constructed. If he is large for his age though changes are that he will always be a larger person. I would say no to the bunk bed as they don't support weight that well (he will likely be a larger person his whole life).
Another alternative is a bed with drawers underneath. I think the official name for this bed style is a "Captains Bed". They are usually pretty sturdy beds and it would be able to support a lot of weight. Before upgrading to a double when we were first starting out me and my fiance slept on a twin size captains bed me, him and my pregnant belly...so I know it can handle weight. Basically it would solve a lot of the storage issues (for example if it has 3 drawers in the bottom you'd likely be able to fit underwear/pj's, shirts and pants. If it all fits you don't need a dresser). I noticed the room dimensions are a bit small when you consider the added furniture.
My motto is keep is simple and uncluttered. The less things that have to go in his room the cleaner his room will stay, the nicer it will look...the more he will and you will enjoy the space. My kids rooms are on the main floor so it's important for me to make sure they stay reasonably clean, so if your place is anything like mine that will be an important factor for you as well.
If friends sleep over in the summer and you have any kind of a yard tents can be a very fun alternative. If you have a room in your home, like a den or even the living room the kids can camp out in there in the wintertime. I did that with friends and it was fun, yes we stayed up late but in our rooms we'd stay up too with our toys we as parents we need to 'bit the bullet' and accept the kids will be up late on a sleep over. If you let them use the living room during the colder months, let them make a fort and have an indoor camp out....lol maybe as a kid I just loved camping but I promise I'm not the only one.
Best of luck =)
A bunk bed would be nice depending on how well it is constructed. If he is large for his age though changes are that he will always be a larger person. I would say no to the bunk bed as they don't support weight that well (he will likely be a larger person his whole life).
Another alternative is a bed with drawers underneath. I think the official name for this bed style is a "Captains Bed". They are usually pretty sturdy beds and it would be able to support a lot of weight. Before upgrading to a double when we were first starting out me and my fiance slept on a twin size captains bed me, him and my pregnant belly...so I know it can handle weight. Basically it would solve a lot of the storage issues (for example if it has 3 drawers in the bottom you'd likely be able to fit underwear/pj's, shirts and pants. If it all fits you don't need a dresser). I noticed the room dimensions are a bit small when you consider the added furniture.
My motto is keep is simple and uncluttered. The less things that have to go in his room the cleaner his room will stay, the nicer it will look...the more he will and you will enjoy the space. My kids rooms are on the main floor so it's important for me to make sure they stay reasonably clean, so if your place is anything like mine that will be an important factor for you as well.
If friends sleep over in the summer and you have any kind of a yard tents can be a very fun alternative. If you have a room in your home, like a den or even the living room the kids can camp out in there in the wintertime. I did that with friends and it was fun, yes we stayed up late but in our rooms we'd stay up too with our toys we as parents we need to 'bit the bullet' and accept the kids will be up late on a sleep over. If you let them use the living room during the colder months, let them make a fort and have an indoor camp out....lol maybe as a kid I just loved camping but I promise I'm not the only one.
Best of luck =)
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