Monday, November 18, 2013

Can you include these 7 phrases in a fantasy story of your own creation?? (just for WORDPLAY!)

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Silva


1) A field full of gumdrops.
2) The trail led me to a for-boding castle floating on marshmallow clouds.
3)The sun was a sparkly purple disco ball and the moon a shimmering neon green sliver!
4) You mean to tell me that_____are/is your ruler(s)??!!
5)What is this place...
6)I trembled as________.
7)______ do not talk!!! What did you say?



Answer
GUMDROPS AND POLYESTER

NEVER finish a liverwurst sandwich and a hot fudge sunday just before going to bed. Especially if you mix in a combination of children's cartoon DVDs and the Jay Leno show. Ugh!

It had been a dreary February weekend, with snow flurries and wind gusts up to 50 miles an hour. My three year old twins had been fighting all day, and my husband Jay's return flight from a business trip had been cancelled. The airline had directed him to a hotel and reassigned him to an early morning flight.

The worsening storm seemed to intensify the behavior of my little hooligans. After the most recent dual Tasmanian Devil dance, my mother's 80 year old china teapot became mosaic fodder. Normally, I don't go in for a lot of "television tending", but I had had it! So, after the evening news, we had a Princess Barbie and Rainbow Brite marathon.

Who thinks up this syrupy drivel? When I was growing up, Merrie Meodies and Johnny Quest were regular Saturday contenders. Nobody went bouncing around on clouds in Never Never Land. But, as the night wore on, I had to admit that the shows were better than children sized straight jackets. In no time at all the kids were slack jawed and mesmerized by the boob tube. By nine o'clock, I had a couple of yawning, droopy eyed little girls on my hands, and not a second too soon! I found myself mentally cliniging tightly to the cartoon unicorn's mane, heading straight for the Land of Catatonia.

After I bundled them off to bed, I realized I was starving. My Cocoa Puffs dinner eaten underneath a card table and blanket tent with the kids had worn off. So, I made myself a "sammich", which is Jay's vernacular for a mondo, extra yummy treat situated between two slices of bread. Suddenly, the kitchen was unnervingly quiet. Felix the Cat tick tocked at me and stared with his shifty eyes as the second hand slowly went around his stomach.

The silence left me feeling edgy, so back to the TV I went. The hot fudge sunday and Jay Leno came to an end within minutes of each other. I stood up and yawned, ready for bed. The day's events had finally caught up to me. I was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.
*********************************************************
In the dream, I was riding the crazy unicorn through a field full of gumdrops. In the pale pink sky, the sun was a sparkly purple disco ball and the moon a shimmering neon green silver! I searched the horizon, but found my cream puff companions were nowhere to be seen. For some reason this really annoyed me. The unicorn spoke up. "You shouldn't have done it. Bad girls can't go to the ball. The Fairy Godmother won't allow it." "WHAT???" I exclaimed, almost falling off its back. "Unicorns do not talk!!! What did you say?" It turned its head and shot me a withering glare. "You heard me perfectly well," it snapped. "Furthermore, you will NOT get the golden slippers. You must return to the cottage and wear cheap polyester!"

Things were getting stranger by the minute as the landscape morphed into a field of candy corn wildflowers. We were clopping along on a graham cracker crust trail. "What is this place..." I trailed off. The unicorn seemed to be in a snit, and was not answering.

Further along, the trail led me to a foreboding castle floating on marshmallow clouds. The unicorn picked up speed. I trembled as it galloped toward a jelly bean encrusted draw bridge. Up and over we flew, landing inside of the castle. Familiar music was wafting down from the main hall. I listened carefully. It was the theme music from the Jay Leno Show! And there he sat on his throne as the band finished up the tune. "Ah!" he barked, turning toward me. "Our next guest is a notorious felon known throughout the land for her evil deeds!" he cackled delightedly. "Please...make yourself at home," he said graciously, his hand sweeping to a row of black leather chairs. I carefully climbed off the unicorn, who gave a disgusted snort and trotted away. As I sat down, Leno eyed me up and down and snickered. Now I was really annoyed. "What's so funny?" I demanded. He gave me a knowing look. "The President was right. Look at your clothes. How gauche! Even if you were a good person, they would never let you in. Barbie's bouncers would throw you out in the street." I was astonished. "WHAT?? You mean to tell me that Barbie is your ruler??!!" He looked surprised. "Well, of course. She has the wardrobe, the pink convertible and the mansion." I was standing now. Jay shook me by the shoulders. "Haven't you heard? Everyone wants to be Barbie. That b*tch has everything!"

The shaking got more violent. Jay said, "Barbara? Barbie? Honey, wake up!" It was my husband. Through one open eye I saw weak light spilling in from the window. "What time is it?" "It's 6:30. I just got in." My head was still sleep muddled as the dream faded. "I should be back at the cottage... wearing polyester," I mumbled. He gave me a quizzical glance as reality began to reassemble itself. I could tell he was waiting for an explanation. "Never mind," I said. "You wouldn't understand unless you were there." I hauled myself up, thinking about the day ahead. Whatever happened, I decided I was swearing off Rainbow Brite and Jay Leno. Forever.

How can I keep my cat out of the baby's crib?







I have been trying EVERYTHING the past few months to keep him out of the crib but nothing works. I tried the water bottle which works for about 5 minutes. I tried the spray that supposedly keeps cats off stuff, he doesn't seem to care. I tell him no and take him out everytime I see them in there. I tried tin foil to scare him when he jump in but he thinks its just fun to play with. Im seriously at a dead end as to what to do, but no I will not get rid of him because he is a part of our family and is not only my cat. I know people will suggest the crib tent which I really want but we have the crib that makes a full size bed with the back of the crib higher than the front so they dont work with that kind. The only option I can think of is to keep the door shut at all times, but I dont like that at all because it is a small 1 bedroom apartment so my bed is in there too and I love the cat sleeping with me at night so shutting him out I just feel horrible because they really have no where else to go since our place is so small and he like sleeping with me. please if you know something i havent tried let me know. the baby is due soon and i want to fix this before she gets here.


Answer
Leave the cat alone. It'll keep the kid company.




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