dundi
Answer
Fly a kite.
Build a tent/cave out of chairs & sheets in the living room.
Get buried in the sand.
Play make-believe games with them.
Color, paint, draw.
Play 'tag' till you're out of breath.
Teach them how to learn from mistakes, by learning from yours.
Apologize to them when you know you should.
Give love and hugs and kisses every day.
Learn all about them. Ask questions.
Gaze at the stars.
Play catch. (Girls, too)
Cook/bake.
Chase rainbows.
Just a few, off the top of my head. And every one of them has been a memory I'll treasure forever.
Fly a kite.
Build a tent/cave out of chairs & sheets in the living room.
Get buried in the sand.
Play make-believe games with them.
Color, paint, draw.
Play 'tag' till you're out of breath.
Teach them how to learn from mistakes, by learning from yours.
Apologize to them when you know you should.
Give love and hugs and kisses every day.
Learn all about them. Ask questions.
Gaze at the stars.
Play catch. (Girls, too)
Cook/bake.
Chase rainbows.
Just a few, off the top of my head. And every one of them has been a memory I'll treasure forever.
I have 2 small kids and am starting to find myself loseing my temper...Help!?
Abby
I know that how you are raised has a lot to do with how you raise your children. I don't want to sound like I am blaming anyone else but myself but I do want to give a little background. Growing up My dad let me get away with everything and my mother was very strict, and in strict I mean very mean. I was "spank'd", to say the least, very often. She never talked to me, it was always yelling and my childhood was very very hard. I swore I would never do that to my children. I have a 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. When my daughter was younger (2) I foundmyself yelling at her and spanking her, but when my son was born I stopped. Now I am having a hard time. They don't listen to me and I've tried the timeouts and corners but it doesn't work. I am finding myself getting very angry at them and yelling at them, sometimes spanking an this is something I don't want to do but most of all I don't want my children growing up the way I did and then doing it to thier children. Please help me.
The behavior problems are as follows... My daughter destroys everything she gets her hands on. Colors on the wall, cuts her sheets, breaks her toys, and does things that she just got in trouble for. Ex. At nap time today her bro. kept getting out of bed and after the 5th time putting him back to bed I spankd him. She called me everytim hegot out. Then I stayed next to thier door and I heard her tell him to get into her bed, when he did, she yelled for me to get him in trouble. She writes his name on the wall and then says that he did . He can't spell his name hes only 2. My son is the typical 2 year old. Kind of an emotional crybaby, but I kind of think it's cute. However I find m self getting frustarted with him but I think it's only because I am so frustrated with his sister. I have no idea what to do nymore and I am desperatly looking for suggestions. This isn't so much about what my kids do wrong, I understand they are kids, they do things like that, so what can I do to help myself
Answer
First of all, there are some sibling rivalry issues going on. Your daughter has taken on the bully role and its just simply because the little one hasn't yet figured out how to defend himself.
Do you give time with each child separately? That is important because each child has to know that they are being given special time with you. It helps their self esteem a lot and they are more likely to want to please you with good behavior. Positive time spent one on one each day with each child will reduce their needs for negative attention. What's happening with you it sounds that both kids are competeing for your attention.
As for spanking, it has to be done but with limits and in certain circumstances. I understand you feel so angry sometimes. I did too when my daughter was little and before I had my second child. But with her she taught me a lot as she was my first child.
She taught me that she is a kid and will act like a kid regardless of how I react. I even realized with her that its good for her to explore things. She takes things apart because she wants to see how it is put together. She draws on the wall because she wants to see a flower there. I remember at that age I did the same thing. I wrote on the wall and was so proud because I told everyone that it was a map to a treasure. It's a little overwhelming but you have to realize that your child is very gifted and she is exploring her world.
Though to you, she is messing things up, in her mind it is totally different. There will be imaginary friends. She will cut bed sheets to make a tent of it because its her growth process and because she is in her own world. But there does have to be limits and I agree with you. Whenever it harms others or gets little brother in trouble when he shouldn't be. Those are the times to set limits.
Have you ever thought of the idea to set up ways for her to use her imagination without it hurting something valuable. Try keeping a stash of junk mail you get for credit cards or advertisements. Let them have a ball with it and tell them that they need to pay the bills. It will keep them busy.
Keep a box of some old shoes and clothes that you no longer wear and let the kids play dress up at certain special times. Also keep xerox copies of activity and coloring sheets that way they can play school. Get some pots and pans and let them play with them and bang them around sometimes. Have a story time each day and let them wear silly hats or dresses like the characters in the stories. Have paper puppet shows. Put out a plastic liner and let them eat dinner without any utensils just for ONE time on SPECIAL occassions. Kids love things like that. Also my favorite thing was to play bookshop. I would take all my books and arrange them like a shop and have everyone come and buy items.
Doing an activity that involves imagination lets them learn and is healthy. I wished a lot when I was little that my mother would do these things along with me instead of shaking her head and walking away. Don't tease them when they talk aloud about silly things or to themselves. Its good for them. If they are busied each day they won't have time to get into things. So doing the above will help reduce the negative issues you are feeling. If you are able to turn the destructive habits and focus it to enriching things they will be less likely to act out. Bored kids always equals trouble.
And for the spanking, you should do it! But only when you have created the environment that they understand they have been very bad and want to avoid being popped. When your daughter says, mommy please don't spank me, then you know your on the right track because she is aware that she has crossed the limits. As for your two year old, don't spank him as much. He is still too little to understand the consequences of some actions and so instead he needs to be redirected. You can't give the same level of punishment with both kids because they are different ages. Your daughter may say you always pop her and never her brother but don't let it make you feel guilty. You just say, listen I am your mama and you are a big girl and should know better, your brother is little and doesn't. End of discussion.
Take control and be firm but be fun too. This is the way I deal with my toddler and baby and I hope I helped you out. Try and see if it works but remember you have to take time.
First of all, there are some sibling rivalry issues going on. Your daughter has taken on the bully role and its just simply because the little one hasn't yet figured out how to defend himself.
Do you give time with each child separately? That is important because each child has to know that they are being given special time with you. It helps their self esteem a lot and they are more likely to want to please you with good behavior. Positive time spent one on one each day with each child will reduce their needs for negative attention. What's happening with you it sounds that both kids are competeing for your attention.
As for spanking, it has to be done but with limits and in certain circumstances. I understand you feel so angry sometimes. I did too when my daughter was little and before I had my second child. But with her she taught me a lot as she was my first child.
She taught me that she is a kid and will act like a kid regardless of how I react. I even realized with her that its good for her to explore things. She takes things apart because she wants to see how it is put together. She draws on the wall because she wants to see a flower there. I remember at that age I did the same thing. I wrote on the wall and was so proud because I told everyone that it was a map to a treasure. It's a little overwhelming but you have to realize that your child is very gifted and she is exploring her world.
Though to you, she is messing things up, in her mind it is totally different. There will be imaginary friends. She will cut bed sheets to make a tent of it because its her growth process and because she is in her own world. But there does have to be limits and I agree with you. Whenever it harms others or gets little brother in trouble when he shouldn't be. Those are the times to set limits.
Have you ever thought of the idea to set up ways for her to use her imagination without it hurting something valuable. Try keeping a stash of junk mail you get for credit cards or advertisements. Let them have a ball with it and tell them that they need to pay the bills. It will keep them busy.
Keep a box of some old shoes and clothes that you no longer wear and let the kids play dress up at certain special times. Also keep xerox copies of activity and coloring sheets that way they can play school. Get some pots and pans and let them play with them and bang them around sometimes. Have a story time each day and let them wear silly hats or dresses like the characters in the stories. Have paper puppet shows. Put out a plastic liner and let them eat dinner without any utensils just for ONE time on SPECIAL occassions. Kids love things like that. Also my favorite thing was to play bookshop. I would take all my books and arrange them like a shop and have everyone come and buy items.
Doing an activity that involves imagination lets them learn and is healthy. I wished a lot when I was little that my mother would do these things along with me instead of shaking her head and walking away. Don't tease them when they talk aloud about silly things or to themselves. Its good for them. If they are busied each day they won't have time to get into things. So doing the above will help reduce the negative issues you are feeling. If you are able to turn the destructive habits and focus it to enriching things they will be less likely to act out. Bored kids always equals trouble.
And for the spanking, you should do it! But only when you have created the environment that they understand they have been very bad and want to avoid being popped. When your daughter says, mommy please don't spank me, then you know your on the right track because she is aware that she has crossed the limits. As for your two year old, don't spank him as much. He is still too little to understand the consequences of some actions and so instead he needs to be redirected. You can't give the same level of punishment with both kids because they are different ages. Your daughter may say you always pop her and never her brother but don't let it make you feel guilty. You just say, listen I am your mama and you are a big girl and should know better, your brother is little and doesn't. End of discussion.
Take control and be firm but be fun too. This is the way I deal with my toddler and baby and I hope I helped you out. Try and see if it works but remember you have to take time.
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